Loving you made me hard, and sick of having such an open heart and afraid that everyone who claimed to love me is a liar. Now I’m closed off at best and silent most days and I’ve never really trusted people. But now my best friend is sick of wondering if I’m ok and my heart is all over but no one can see it. Now I’m mostly empty and often defeated. Loving you was the best thing that ever happened to me. But it was an opportunity that ended before I had the chance to show you my best qualities. I’m afraid that you feel sick when you think of me. Loving you gave me hope and kept me alive for awhile and it gave me a future when all I wanted was to die. And it may have turned me into a piece of shit in the end and maybe it was all a game of pretend. And maybe now I’m too damn scared to put my heart on the line. But some of the best days of my stupid life were the days when you were mine.